relieve

I really need to do something to relieve my stress. Im not supposed to study last minute. This is what i keep saying for every exam *sigh* But still laa, i'll try my best and give everything this time. Sem two, no more last minute study. Paper 1 maths was fuuuu-king tough, i cried right after Mr Lim picked up the answer sheet. Ive never cried before, because of exam paper, especially maths. But alhamdulillah paper 2 was quite easy. I just hope it can cover what i did on paper 1. And now im done with science computer. Trust me, my brain is now full with memories. And really hope it'll stay till 4.30 pm today :D After that got four more papers to go. But tomorrow got no paper. Great. Cause i really need to rest this evening to gain energy for tonight. Now have to get ready for sc comp paper. Wish me luck peeps.

ps : planning to eat chocolate before entering that fuuu-king room

pss : Much in love with Mohamad Haziq Yaakob :)

FML

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!

EXAM WEEK IS SO FUUU-KINGG STRESS!

gloomy week

EXAM WEEK = GLOOMY WEEK

WANT TO KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE..

I MISS MY HAZIQ SO MUCH :'(
I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU!

ps :biar awak je yang tahu :)

Mine

Im not obsess with this zodiac thingyy, just have fun reading it. It is cool when you can see yourself as you're reading your own zodiac :D heee. This is mine. I copied the one which is slightly same with my personality.

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed. Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she cannot find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader, a real confident type. She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked. She likes to guess her man’s reaction, but at the same time she likes to have many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dares to fight for what she thinks belonged to her. Even she acts confident she mostly feels lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone, she won’t show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has “Faith” in the word “Love”. She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves “Freedom”. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow. She likes to be the one who is “Right”, so if you argue with her, let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight-forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say “It’s over” be prepare to leave, she is not testing you. She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean “small loan”. Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad, be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that. You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave. She has many types of jobs because she believes what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a “Working Woman” then you will be OK. If she mad, find a shelter for the “Hurricane” is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of “payback” time. Most people might think of her as “One of a guy”, but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bore you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

ps : I saw myself when i read this T__T

Lets talk about Aquarians :)

I google this :) this is soooo me. If u know me well, then you'll absolutely agree with this.

There is one inherent desire of every Aquarian, to be unique and original in all sorts of ways. Sometimes they are cucko and unpredictable especially the ladies. An Aquarius girl is also often described as stubborn, unemotional, sarcastic, rebellious and aloof. She is loyal and at the same time a tad detached and not overtly expressive in her emotions. She is committed and faithful as long as she won't feel being tied down to a relationship.

Dubbed as a butterfly among humans, the Aquarius woman is friend to everyone but belongs to no one. People who can accept her overriding sense of need for freedom will be tremendously loved by the Aquarius girl in return. What is essential in a relationship with the Aquarius woman is honesty including being true to oneself. Often described as subtle and unassuming, the love shown by the Aquarian female is nonetheless without limits. Although passion is rarely a definitive character of the Aquarius, she can be intense at times and be platonic most of the time.

She is not known to be the jealous type nor possessive in her relationships because even before making that crucial commitment, she has carefully scrutinized her partner's character substantial enough to trust him. This trust is hard to come by, especially for an Aquarian that is more difficult to mend once broken.

She expects others to respect her in the same way as she respects them. Finding a partner is often a tedious and long process because of the free-wheeling nature of the Aquarian woman and her tendency not to be expressive in her emotions, a critical factor in romances.

However, once they do decide to get married and build a family of their own, they make loving and caring mothers although they may have initial reservations about motherhood. Expect that the Aquarius mother will never pamper her children and will never be overprotective of them. She is a good and patient listener especially to her children. The key to understanding the unique and original Aquarius female is in giving her ample space to enjoy her personal freedom. Being future-oriented, you can always count on the Aquarius lady to let you get a glance at your future together.

ps : am i unique? :)

evaporation

Hey guys, its 2.35 pm now and i feel so sleepy. I need to rest. One hour nap is enough i guess. Thinking about the subjects i need to cover before next week, make me want to give up. Thinking about what my parents expect from me really make me insane. Haiyak! T__T Just  wish me luck for this upcoming pspm. Im hoping lac operon will come out for bio essay and maths, please be nice. Now im struggling on my chemistry. I need someone who's pro, i mean REALLY pro to teach me the last chapter, ionic equilibria. I'll give everything you want T___T #desperatemuch.

Oh, i wish i'll remember mama's birthday, 1st november. Got no paper on that day. Im planning to buy her something next week. Maybe scarf or brooch? Or cheese cake? I'll decide later. Im planning to follow my sis this holidays. I need to earn some money for second sem -.- Dont want to burden them. So, i need jobs! #yesimsodesperate

I need to rest. Feel much better now.

ps : LMFAO, everyday im shufffee-felin'~ motif? takda motif -.-'

pss : perut sangat sakit since yesterday and seems like ENO was not helpful

nothing much

Here is so lifeless. Feels like im in boarding school, though i never know how it feel being there. ugh. Slightly same with matrik's life i guess. That's why i hate asrama, full with discipline. Im not a robot. I hate people ask me to do this and that. I hate doing the same thing everyday *thats what i do now, here -____-* main lampu suluh kena marah dengan mak guard pulak. CHILL lah! :p I miss home. My bed. My annoying sisters. My mum who talks a lot. My dad, who rarely at home, who always talk crap with me. I miss them. A LOT. Cant wait to see you guys this mid sem break.

To dian and tia *if you guys read my blog* ,

so sad you guys are not here :( miss karaokeing, gossiping, laughing with you guys. hmm. My upcoming holidays means nothing without both of you.

ps : lately ni belakang sakit sangat -.- salah tidur i guess. blame katil matrik

changrakte

'I tak cari perempuan, tapi i cari perasaan tu'

i love you marshmellow :)

just a plan

Im planning to adopt a baby after i finish my matrik. Baby boy. Sounds silly right? And i know mama will totally say 'NO' =.=" I want a baby boy. I really wish i could adopt one. Nak yang comel. He'll call me kak has, and me will call him Aqhil Affan. What a perfect name :)  I'll teach him to be a good boy and NO SMOKING when you grow up. Mama, let me take a good care of him please? :(

ps : mama, nak baby? :) tak kisah la umur 20 nanti saya ada adik lelaki. NAK NAK NAK! :O

hold

 

Really wish we could grow old together

.

Get married someday

.

Having one happy family perhaps

.

Preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner for you

.

Hug you whenever I scare

.

Be together thru thick and thin

.

Fulfill our dreams together

.

Live for each other for sure

.

If i die first, I'll wait for you there

.

This special bond could never break

.

I promise

 

one time

This one special feeling I couldn't ever imagine

.

I could feel it again after what i've been through before

.

The pain, tears, loneliness, my past had taught me

.
And change me a lot, yes, its hurt, really hurt
.

BUT

.

I promised I wont run from it

.

I'll face it I'll give chance to myself

.

And now, at this moment, I just wanna say

.

I'll fight for this love

.

If there had been written at luh mahfuz

.

That you're the one for me

.

Hold my word, I'll stay till my very last breath

.

I love you

really wish

I could turn back time where everything was perfect

.

There's no tears, no heart broken, no hoping

.

No stress, no game, no insulting, no pain, no scars, no wound

.

Im tired of everything, feels like giving up

Dear past

.

Im not blaming you

.

For what I am today

.

Thanks cause giving me

.

Such a valuable lesson

.

Lesson of life

So I'll never stop put such a high hope on myself

.

Me the one who should trust myself

.

I just can pray to Him

.

For what I own today

.

Will be mine till I die

.

Then I'll return everything back

ps : something is missing today and the saddest part is i don't even know what it is 

pss : any clue please? tired of playing game

it's over

Finally it's over! MUET SPEAKING IS OVER :) fuhh lega. It was quite okay and fun! Thanks guys for your cooperate. Even though our marks were not that great, but we've tried our best. At first i was fuc*ing nervous, but then the feelings slowly fade and i feel much better when i started to talk, though my confidence level was quite bad. haha. Persetan kan. Concentrate on other muet papers. I really need to score for my reading paper.

Guys, I need to gain my spirit back, my confidence back. For me to prepare for the upcoming pspm. 8 days to go. I need to get scholarship, i dont want to burden my family. Anymore. Im lost now. I need something to push me up. To make me feel like studying, really hard. 8 days left for me to cover everything. I know i can do it but it's quite impossible right? I mean for just 8 days to read up and remember everything is IMPOSSIBLE. Urghh, somebody please help me. Please.

ps : can we stop the time for awhile?

Study week

Two weeks of study week will totally make me sick. Playing around, day dreaming, walking around college in hope seeing few hot guys but end up with 'kekecewaan yang teramat sangat', gossiping with roommates, talking crap, watching my bieber 'never say never' awhhh lefchu and imma eatchu bieber, love it whenever he flip his hair *_* okay pengsan. Doing math revision, haha rajin tak saya? :O and end up with serious headache. Math is killing me these few days. And the best part of study week is, MAGGI :D Trust me, everybody bought thousands of it for this two weeks. Alasan? 'Malas nak turun and nak study sampai lebam dekat atas' -___-" Tak jadi bangang ke korang duduk bilik one whole day tak keluar langsung?

MUET SPEAKING TEST

Mine is on thursday. YUPP THIS THURSDAY. Need to print the slip and speak english frequently. I am quite  bad when it come to speak. So dear examiners, get ready to face meh. I'll talk like idiot. Haha. But, i'll try my best. Wish me luck. Doakan lidah ni laju je berkata kata nanti :]

ps : Cant wait till 3rd nov. Miss them so much.

pss : But surely i'll miss you so much for the whole holidays :']

P.J

Kimia - Melda Ahmad

Aku mula jatuh hati kepadamu

Setelah kau kata cinta padaku

Masing masing dulu punya pasangan

Akhirnya kita bersama

Pertama kali kita bersua bertentang mata

Terasa ada kimia di antara kita

Kau kucup pipiku kau bisikkan cintamu

Kau kata baby i love you kau cairkan hatiku

Bahagia ku rasa

Di saat kita berdua bersama

Memandang bulan terang

Menyaksi bintang bintang

Kau seru akulah pelangi cintamu

ps : After repair gitar, i'll learn how to play this song :)

pss : Am i your 'pelangi cinta' ? :)

terima kasih

Trying my best here to define love

Real love is more terrifying than entering exams or ghosts. If you fall in love, it wont stop; Your brain is on fire and that runs through your body. It runs down quickly to your toes. Your blood pumps in waves when your eyes meet. The lumberjack inside your chest carries a big hammer and inside he hit. Its pain. Real love.

Love is undefined. What? -.- Just now you said, trying your best to define love. Then you said love is undefined. The hell? Dont talk crap lah. Err, I dont know how to define love actually. Some people said when you started to miss someone, I mean that someone is someone lah. Not your friend or bestfriend or.. See, I am not good in explaination =.=' But even sometimes we could fall with our own best friend, different gents lah -.- Quite cool you know, like really fall in love with your best buddy. He knows you the most. Your imperfections especially, yet he still want you and never ask you to change, not even a little. If you ever found this kinda guy, listen, GRAB him. Dont ever dare to let him go. You'll regret forever, till you die.

Err, I think I am out of topic

So, here we go. For me, when this one boy starts to annoy you and always make fun of you. Trying his best to be with you to make you angry. Always wanna have fight with you. Laughing like hell whenever you fall. This is love.

When this one girl, like really really like someone, steal that boy's phone number, snap his pictures without him noticing, do thousands of tricks to make that boy at least notice about her presence, and at last admit her feeling towards him, whether thru phone, letter, or even thru a simple conversation. We can see this kinda scene usually at manga and korean movies. Guys, if there's a girl willing to drop her ego like this for you, DONT let her go, because this is love.

There's a guy, a special guy, he loves this one lucky girl so much and didn't put much hope, that the girl will loves him back. Just he really want that girl to know his true feeling. Its okay for him if she dont give any sign that she could love or even like him the same way like he do. As long as loving her and wait for her to love him back can make him happy, he'll never give up. This is love.

For me, in love you have to be yourself. To love yourself like you want others to love you. Love can create miracles.

ps : actually baru lepas tengok 'the notebook' for thousands time -.- and im still trying my best to define real love, true love thingyy.

DOES IT REALLY EXIST?

siapa suka pun?

Why lah people nowadays keep on chasing money. Nak boyfriend/girlfriend who's come from a rich family. Aiyooo, narrow minded people. I know lah, now if you have money you can have whatever you want you can buy whatever you've ever dreamed before. Even someone's heart. Really? yupp, trust me ;) But based on what i've experienced, money cant promise such an happy ending. Yes, they can buy you anything, lots of presents, so sweet right? haha -.-' remember nobody can buy your feelings. See the love thru his eyes, down to his heart. Not thru his money, down to his pocket. bahahaha =,= okay, tak lawak pun. 

Random conversation between me and someone,

Me : Weh, hang nak cari suami macam mana?

.... : Emm, aku nak yang kaya, handsome, kuat agama, pandai masak

Me : -______-" taste hang tak boleh nak tinggi lagi kaa?

.... : Eh mesti lah, mak aku kata kena lah cari yang betul betul terbaik

Me : ohhh ^_^ *macam lah dia tu anak raja*

moral of the story? :)

UKUR BAJU DI BADAN SENDIRI 

 

p/s : Saya tak suka lelaki yang kedekut and berkira -.-'

slowly baby

You know what, it was awesome getting to know someone slowly. Getting to know his personality, his secret personalities :) It's kinda sweet you know, like trying really hard to get into each others' life. Two different life. Getting to know someone is really hard and sometimes misunderstanding could happen due to his past. But actually what past is past, and it cannot be changed. That person, is the one who should realize his/her mistakes and try to be a better person. Not keep on doing the same mistakes. Trust me, and move on. Don't let your past keep on haunting you and make you afraid to face something new. Be a bit tough.

p/s : I love the way we're treating each others now. It's kinda sweet when you start to talk about you :)

HEY BOY!

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY WORDS AND GIVE IT TO YOUR GIRL

THANK YOU :) 

'Maybe ayat u tu boleh bahagia kan dia dengan girlfriend dia  tu,

Just put on smiley face :)'

Thanks pak jabit :) sangat membantu tau. You're right.

I've put many smiley faces and learn how to manage my temper.

p/s : seems like you've been stalking my blog everyday :) and me? stalking your page? nahhh. actually i know about your status from someone lahhh and come on lahh weh, im not going to waste my time stalking your page. Tak pernah ada niat sikit punggg. JANGAN NAK PERASAN LAH YE :) you know nothing about me. No one knows anything about me. That's all. baii :) :) :) :)

Hate them

WHY LAH GUYS NOWADAYS JAHAT SANGAT?!

If i am the one who work with Berita Harian or Utusan Malaysia or even Harian Metro, I'll post this statement as the main topic for today, errr, i mean tomorrow. Ya lahhh, guys nowadays sangat jahat and they dont even notice they've been playing around with girls' heart. I know something new about playboy.

'THEY DONT EVEN REALIZED THEY'RE HURTING SOMEONE'S FEELING'

I dont care what you guys wanna say about this statement, but this is the truth. Its not like we've been so perasan or angau sorang sorang but the way you treat us is like giving some hope. I mean giving HOPE. Be friend with girls is not like 'testing' your power, our heart is fragile. Once we've fall in love, we do really fall. Please be a little bit sensitive. If nak kawan sahaja, kawan betul betul. Jangan nak mengayat then kau blah macam tu je. Kau ingat kau siapa? Cukup hebat lah dapat buat perempuan tu jatuh hati dekat kau? Cukup kasanova lah? pfftttt 'F' YOU :) I am sure this type of guy will oneday face the same thing or even worst like what they've done to those girls, err, or these girls, err mana mana lah. I also dont know. My grammar is quite bad lately ni =.=' HAHA.

p/s : This entry is for those who think they're a player. If korang rasa korang tak, then jangan lah nak datang serang aku lepas ni -.-'

'SIAPA MAKAN CILI, DIA LAH TERASA PEDASNYA' :)

STOP PLEASE

TO SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW,

*you know who you are*

Please stop stalking my blog. I have a new life now. Better from before. Stop posting something showing that you're the one who have been broken. If you're brave enough, stand up and tell world the truth. I've left my past, successfully move on now. Then you? Still sitting in front of your lappy and keep on stalking what i wrote here? Then copy my own words and post it to your new girl? So pathetic. Me gonna cry for you now. Move on please? Be happy. Learn to appreciate people around you. Dont repeat the same mistake again and again. Remember, we, girls, do have heart. You're not pleased to be here :) Thank you and dont ever come back.

I learn everytime I bleed. Thanks, because of you, I learn so many things through 'it'.

p/s : Saya sangat happy dengan life saya sekarang :) Tolong sesiapa jangan dengki and musnahkan apa yang saya ada. Terima kasih.

heart beat

Baru habis chapter reproduction. You know what, after study chapter tu I've fall in love :') with babies. That weird feeling, it just comes and I feel something when I look at the moment how a zygote could turn into a baby. A cute little baby :) I could never imagine how's the feeling holding your baby. Holding his/her hand. I've ever think of having baby without a husband =.=' like whaaaat? can ah? If can, no need to marry oso its okay as long as I can have a baby. Haha. But I want the cute one lah. Boleh gomol gomol dia. Okay hasmida sangat pelik malam ni -.- mungkin terlebih dos nescafe mocha. lalalalala~

BUT I DO LOVE BABIES. COME TO MAMAAAAA~

p/s : Tiba tiba rindu athirah, my cute baby dekat kuantan. I know you miss your kaklong very much kan? :'( mishh you too thirahhh. 

love letter

Dear boyf aka marshmellow aka pak jabit,

Lets talk craps together

Lets do stupid things together

Lets stare at each other's eyes without saying even a single word

Lets poke each other frequently

Lets laugh and shout like there's nobody around us

Lets spend time lepak lepak for many hours

Lets holding hand like there's no tomorrow

Lets have a fight and let me win :)

Lets talk about our dreams and future

Lets lay on the empty road under the moon with me

Lets dance in the rain

Lets read each other's heart

Lets go do something we dont even like #ihatefishingandcamping

Lets disturb others and make people mad at us

Lets make funny faces together :)

Lets play a childish game #batuserembanandrebuttiang

Lets get knowing each other deeply

LAST BUT NOT LEAST,

Lets fall in love, like really fall in love with me,

Im just a normal girl, who's not perfect, a happy go lucky person, always wanna laugh and have fun, sometimes insecure, talk too much, keep on doing mistakes, tak pernah serik, selalu ingat dia je betul, ego *maybe* , easily get angry, not a pretty girl.

Thanks cause love me. I'll never change and i'll be the same HASMIDA yesterday, today and forever.

FOREVER I'LL BE THE SAME

aishiteru?

I LOVE 'YOU'

YES, YOUUU LAH! :)

buntu

SERIOUS SHIT, matriculation's life is so fuck*ng stress!

Too many tutorial, chemfren, past years questions, consolidation, arghhh banyak lagi ahh! DAMN! I need extra classes. Please lah mana mana lecturer yang baik hati buat extra class and summary kan every topic T__T So you guys, dont look at me weirdly when i entered your lecture hall yahh -____-" gila tak malu masuk kuliah orang. But i really i have to. Ada few lecturer kuliah aku yang tak best and membosankan. So, tak concentrate langsung. Lagi lagi sains komputer. Pffffttt .____. PSPM lagi tiga minggu je weh. Everybody put high expectation on me. Stress la macam ni. What if i dont get result like what they wanted me to achieve. Im tired of making my mum depressed because of me. Dah banyak kali *okay anak yang jahat* =.=" So after this i'll try my best to avoid hurting her. And it wont happen again. That's my promise.

Ohh, pspm sudah semakin hampir bermaksud cuti sem juga semakin hampir :D Im planning to have FUNNNNNN this coming holidayyyyy! Although just for two weeks -.-' #sooooosad tapi okay lah daripada seminggu. Hehehe. Really hope papa will be at home lah for those two weeks. Please? :( hmm.

p/s : dengar sini, 'saya sayang awak' *whispering* ;)