a beautiful year with you

Still remember the moment when i was staring at you for the first time. Can't really forget your eyes. They caught mine without me realizing it. Now i couldn't ever imagine my life without seeing those eyes.

Now you're mine for one year. Happy first year anniversary sayang. I hope it is not too late for me to post. What a beautiful year we have spent together. I feel safe here. I feel safe in all our insecurity. I’m wrapped inside them. I hope that’s okay. All our fears and complications, they like each other. They fit perfectly into each other’s molds. And it feels lovely to have something slip into place without having to think. Let’s close our eyes together. See what we want to see.

Hey You, I am really afraid. These indescribably perfect events, they don’t happen to me. I’m scared my insecurities won’t let you in. I am scared they will scare you. Beyond everything, above everything, I am terrified you might run away. Please don’t run away without me. Because you’re indescribably perfect. In every sense of the word.I’m going to hold on tight.

You and I. Yours and mine. Can we stay here and be insecure together?

ps: Please.. Hug me tightly like there's not tomorrow for us.

My bad but..

Maaf buat kau terjebak. Tak sangka pulak kena yang itu. Niatku pada asalnya cuma nak lihat kau berjaya. Buat pilihan yang tepat. Namun, bila ini jadinya aku rasa bersalah. Mungkin kerana paksaan ku buat kau memilih jalan ni. Yang sememangnya bukan jiwamu. Tapi aku yakin, semuanya telah disusun dengan rapi. Semua yang terjadi atas kehendakNya. Setiap yang Dia tentukan pasti ada hikmahnya. Kita hanya mampu lalui jalan ni dengan usaha dan tekad. Janji aku, akan sentiasa berada disisimu. Beri sokongan tak kira waktu, menjadi tulang belakangmu setiap saat, mendukung segala cita cita dan semangatmu. Tidak sekali aku akan berpaling walau seribu kali aku utarakan. Mari hulur jari jemari kau, agar aku dapat sambut tika kau suka tika kau duka. Percaya lah, kita pasti berjaya menggenggam segulung ijazah.

ps: Cinta kamu sampai nafas terakhirku.

my gendut

Ini penyeriku, teman baikku, teman bergaduhku, suara kebenaran ketika penafian, suara penyedap ketika keraguan, udara untuk aku bernafas.

Dia-- Tanpa aku tahu pada asalnya, adalah segalanya untuk aku.

Cinta kami cinta serabutan yang linear hala tujunya.

Terima kasih kerana masih ada. Terima kasih kerana terus mencuba untuk buktikan segala harapan kita. Terima kasih kerana kau berbeza.

angst

What a lonely heart. Feels like it's too dark here. Sometimes when few lights are coming, I'm searching for your shadows. I'm waiting for 'em. But still, they were not coming. Not even once. I'm sitting here alone crying like an idiot. No one cares. I'm not that strong to face everything in just a day. But at least I'm trying though tears keep on falling. Please make me strong. Give strength to my body so that I can keep standing on my own feet. Give strength to my heart so that it can never be broken.

ps : thanks mama, for lending me your shoulder.

Aku mahu.

Lihat saja wajah manisnya.

Ya,

Memang aku tidak pasti apa yang Tuhan hidangkan untuk aku esok. Dan aku tidak pasti hidup berdua tu bagaimana sebenarnya. Kalau hidup itu seksa, biar aku lapah seksa itu dengan dia. Kalau hidup itu indah, biar aku nikmati keindahan itu dengan dia. Kalau aku jadi buruk, biar aku buruk dengan dia. Kalau dia perengus, biar aku hadap rengus dia.

Aku tidak pasti bahagia ini takat mana.

Tapi dalam tiap tapak kaki aku memanjat mencarinya.

Dan dalam tiap gelak, tiap senyum, tiap tangis, tiap marah, tiap sakit, tiap payah, aku mahu dengan dia.

Aku pasti aku mahu dia ada,

hari ini, esok, lusa, dan hari hari seterusnya.

A part of me

What a gloomy day when I can't even feel the presence of 'us' anymore, when the 'loneliness' is like following me all the time, when there's no light in my day time, when the spirit start to flew away from us, when we start to lose our way together. To lost forever is the scariest thing I've ever thought would be. I miss us, the old days, when the way you look at me was different. I'll always wait patiently here, till these gloomy feelings go away and bring us back our old precious time. Honestly, I miss those memories.

counting the days

It has been one month since I left matriks. And guess what, it is quite boring to just stay at home, locked myself in my room and eat like a monster. Haha. I think I'm gaining weigh for this whole holidays. Ughh. Work? I'd prefer going to work. At least I'm wasting my time to get my own money. But yah, since I'm not that experienced in this 'being extras' thinghyy, so what can I do is just wait till those people need more extras *sigh*

Oh yah, the result will be coming out this Tuesday. It hurts my stomach everytime I think about it. I just hope I could get dentistry for my degree. And then everyone will continuously smile because of me. Heee.

My baby came here to meet me last week. Thank you for the moment sayang :) It was a great week with you. I keep on saying I can't believe we could stay till today. And yah, I really meant it. No one could ever understand me like you do and no one could ever see how wonderful I am like you do. I don't need you to be perfect. I don't need you to be rich, I don't need you to be popular, I just need you to be you, my Haziq :) cause I keep falling in love with the same person everyday.

People says when both of you make a promise to not leave each other and will stay together forever, there will be this one special bond that no one could possibly break it. And both of them are considered engaged. Sooooo,

PROUDLY TO SAY THAT I'M ENGAGED NOW :)