angst

What a lonely heart. Feels like it's too dark here. Sometimes when few lights are coming, I'm searching for your shadows. I'm waiting for 'em. But still, they were not coming. Not even once. I'm sitting here alone crying like an idiot. No one cares. I'm not that strong to face everything in just a day. But at least I'm trying though tears keep on falling. Please make me strong. Give strength to my body so that I can keep standing on my own feet. Give strength to my heart so that it can never be broken.

ps : thanks mama, for lending me your shoulder.

Aku mahu.

Lihat saja wajah manisnya.

Ya,

Memang aku tidak pasti apa yang Tuhan hidangkan untuk aku esok. Dan aku tidak pasti hidup berdua tu bagaimana sebenarnya. Kalau hidup itu seksa, biar aku lapah seksa itu dengan dia. Kalau hidup itu indah, biar aku nikmati keindahan itu dengan dia. Kalau aku jadi buruk, biar aku buruk dengan dia. Kalau dia perengus, biar aku hadap rengus dia.

Aku tidak pasti bahagia ini takat mana.

Tapi dalam tiap tapak kaki aku memanjat mencarinya.

Dan dalam tiap gelak, tiap senyum, tiap tangis, tiap marah, tiap sakit, tiap payah, aku mahu dengan dia.

Aku pasti aku mahu dia ada,

hari ini, esok, lusa, dan hari hari seterusnya.

A part of me

What a gloomy day when I can't even feel the presence of 'us' anymore, when the 'loneliness' is like following me all the time, when there's no light in my day time, when the spirit start to flew away from us, when we start to lose our way together. To lost forever is the scariest thing I've ever thought would be. I miss us, the old days, when the way you look at me was different. I'll always wait patiently here, till these gloomy feelings go away and bring us back our old precious time. Honestly, I miss those memories.

counting the days

It has been one month since I left matriks. And guess what, it is quite boring to just stay at home, locked myself in my room and eat like a monster. Haha. I think I'm gaining weigh for this whole holidays. Ughh. Work? I'd prefer going to work. At least I'm wasting my time to get my own money. But yah, since I'm not that experienced in this 'being extras' thinghyy, so what can I do is just wait till those people need more extras *sigh*

Oh yah, the result will be coming out this Tuesday. It hurts my stomach everytime I think about it. I just hope I could get dentistry for my degree. And then everyone will continuously smile because of me. Heee.

My baby came here to meet me last week. Thank you for the moment sayang :) It was a great week with you. I keep on saying I can't believe we could stay till today. And yah, I really meant it. No one could ever understand me like you do and no one could ever see how wonderful I am like you do. I don't need you to be perfect. I don't need you to be rich, I don't need you to be popular, I just need you to be you, my Haziq :) cause I keep falling in love with the same person everyday.

People says when both of you make a promise to not leave each other and will stay together forever, there will be this one special bond that no one could possibly break it. And both of them are considered engaged. Sooooo,

PROUDLY TO SAY THAT I'M ENGAGED NOW :)

You're not alone

*Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne*

You're not alone

Together we stand

I'll be by your side

You know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold

And it feels like the end

There's no place to go

You know I won't give in

No I won't give in

Keep holding on

Cause you know we'll make it through

Just stay strong

Cause you know I'm here for you

I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say

Nothing you can do

There's no other ways when it comes to the truth

So, keep holding on

Cause you know we'll make it through

Make it through

.....................................................................

This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit it. Forever is a long, long time, but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side. Tell me, everyday, I get to wake up to see that smile. I wouldn't mind it at all. I'll be your arms that will hold you at your weakest times, eyes that will see your beauty at your ugliest times, and a heart that will love you at your worst. I love you for who you are, whatever mistakes you made, no matter how terrible, even when you're being a jerk. I love the person you were when we first met, and the person you're now become. I don't think how to stop loving you.

ps : I'll miss you after this. Really hope the distance we'll meet after this could make us stronger than before. I love you Haziq.

standing till the end

Still remember two years ago i took a first step here. All those innocent faces. Mama's tears the moment she's letting me go. Now it's time for me to go back home, and leaving, continuing my journey after this season end. Waiting for other new challenges to come. But no worries cause all those memories will forever stay here, deep in my heart. Always. Good bye Penang Matriculation College :')

And yeah i'm gonna leave everything but i'll grab your hand, cause we'll walk thru the same path after this. Just you and me. No one else. I believe the distance we'll meet after this will make us stronger. You're not going to lose me. I am your FW and you're my FH. We'll standing till the end. I love you, Haziq.

It's eighth!

Really can't believe we have made this far.

Together. I can't believe you're real. You know, the man who could stay and hold my hand for such a long time without even complaining how hard it was to take care of me, to handle me. Maybe for some couples it's not such a long time, but, for me this is the toughest month and I'm quite afraid of this month. But we manage to go thru right? Though it was quite tough at the beginning.

Someone told me before, there will be this one person I'll never get bored of, though have to see his face everyday every second. I'll never get bored though we texting right after we met. I'll never get bored hearing his voice every night.

Now I know, this is real.

The day when I look at the same person and I saw something more than I did the day before.

When my tummy says its kind of bloated with those colorful butterflies.

And the mind sings Arcadian songs, beautifully.

I finally agree with Micheal learns to rock that I won't fear tomorrow.

I'll protect this relationship, fight for you, fight for us. I want to show you that I'm real and I'm not like the rest.

.THIS LOVE IS REAL.