Life currently

It's too different here. Still hard for me to adapt. Everything is on my own and all of them definitely make me sick. Feels like wanna quit, run as far as i could from this shits. But when i re-think about it, i'm bringing everybody's hope which is too big. I just want them to look at me here. I have to carry every subjects by my own. The tutors, lecturers, the way they teach is not suitable with my way. I just cant accept it. Facing headache everyday, took panadols after classes. I dont know for how long i could still stand strong here. Give me strength. I need a backup plan to rearrange back everything, schedules, productive time, rest time, my powerful nap which is supposed to be 5 to 15 minutes but always end up i woke  up two hours later. Ergh. I have to plan everything back. Wake up! This is life and i really need to face it. What will i do now, will definitely create ME in the future. I have to be somebody and have a good position and salary too. It's freaking me out cause i'm starting to think about my 'working-life'. The interview to get position, paper work, the attitude of a good employee which is not me. I dont wanna be a 'late-stater'. I have to start from now and it's still early for me to move. I think.

AND...

Everytime i'm giving up, there will be someone, this one special man. Who's always support me, keep on saying that i can do it. Make me believe every words that came out from his mouth is the spirit for me to keep on stay here. Imagining our life 5 years from now make me decide to still go on and believe that i was made for you, Haziqyaakob ♥