It's too different here. Still hard for me to adapt. Everything is on my own and all of them definitely make me sick. Feels like wanna quit, run as far as i could from this shits. But when i re-think about it, i'm bringing everybody's hope which is too big. I just want them to look at me here. I have to carry every subjects by my own. The tutors, lecturers, the way they teach is not suitable with my way. I just cant accept it. Facing headache everyday, took panadols after classes. I dont know for how long i could still stand strong here. Give me strength. I need a backup plan to rearrange back everything, schedules, productive time, rest time, my powerful nap which is supposed to be 5 to 15 minutes but always end up i woke up two hours later. Ergh. I have to plan everything back. Wake up! This is life and i really need to face it. What will i do now, will definitely create ME in the future. I have to be somebody and have a good position and salary too. It's freaking me out cause i'm starting to think about my 'working-life'. The interview to get position, paper work, the attitude of a good employee which is not me. I dont wanna be a 'late-stater'. I have to start from now and it's still early for me to move. I think.
AND...
Everytime i'm giving up, there will be someone, this one special man. Who's always support me, keep on saying that i can do it. Make me believe every words that came out from his mouth is the spirit for me to keep on stay here. Imagining our life 5 years from now make me decide to still go on and believe that i was made for you, Haziqyaakob ♥
